Renegade Yogi

First day of Yoga Retreat

As you probably know, I am doing a five-day yoga retreat at home. Today was my first day.

I was supposed to do it early this morning, but that didn’t happen. I woke up at 6am and felt like I hadn’t slept well. I tossed and turned last night. So I thought about it and decided that it wasn’t about making it difficult for myself. I went back to bed.

I had a meeting this morning, so I couldn’t practice until this afternoon.

I started at 2:30. I irrigated my nose. I won’t go into detail about that. Let’s just say my nose was ready for pranayama.

I did about 20 minutes of pranayama. Uddiyana bhanda (which is looking nice and weird going side to side), Lion’s pose, tongue lock, and kapalabhati as preparations. Then one who’s name escapes me (you stick out your navel while holding your breath) and a few breathing patterns (some retentions). I felt good and clear and ready to meditate.

Next was meditation. I did my standard half hour. I am still struggling with something. I say something because I don’t know what it is. I did manage to focus more on my breath. I think I am expecting a lot from the exercise. The self-referential nature of the mindfulness exercise (mind commenting on mind) is probably wreaking havoc on my psyche. There were a few moments where I could focus and note at the same time. But mostly, chaos.

That’s probably ok, since the mind is inherently chaotic. I think it will get worse before it gets better. I intuit that I need to be more aware of the expectations I have of my practice. I am definitely trying to control my experience, which is something to know about yourself. Relax more and focus more. Just like when I was practicing concentration. Only now, I’ve got to relax, focus, and note. Multi-tasking!

After thirty minutes, I began my asana practice. I did the primary series of Ashtanga.

I felt pretty limber. I attributed that to the long walk to and from my meeting this morning. Maybe it was something else. Who knows. I did not work out yesterday. Oh, well. I don’t know what it was.

I liked practicing on my own. I don’t normally. I usually go to mysore class. Practicing on my own, I felt much more comfortable focusing on my form. In class, I feel much more social pressure. Pressure to do it right, wondering if the teacher is watching, etc. All of those things steal focus from what I really should be focusing on, which is my own body. That was the first thing I noticed.

My energy kind of petered out half-way through. I skipped lunch. I think that’s the cause. I should be well-fed tomorrow when I do it.

Lack of energy aside, it was a good practice and I look forward to tomorrow’s.

Did you participate? Let me know how it went!