Renegade Yogi

Back on the cushion

I just meditated. The first time since I don’t know when.

I feel lost. Drifting. Unguided. Purposelessness.

I have been neglecting myself, recently. Oh, it may seem like I’m doing a lot for myself, but it’s just self-indulgence. It’s not healthy.

Three days of lazing around, in a half-daze from too little sleep. Putting things off. Forgetting that there are things other than videos on the internet that need my attention.

I’m not good with lots of long-term responsibilities. I always shirk on them. I cannot do longterm. It’s why I dream of having very little stuff and little to do. I am not an ambitious person, at least not if something takes more than a few months.

I have to think that that’s okay. I’m great in an emergency. I’m great for the first lap. It’s late and I’m just wallowing. I’m waiting for a Couch Surfer whose plane comes in late.